COURAGE, COMPASSION, & EMPATHY

BY MAMA RABIN

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Dear younger me, I see you searching!!

Finding happiness is in your willingness to be forgiving towards yourself. And in your courage and ability to have compassion and empathy concerning your own life. These are very noble and necessary virtues to have. Our civilized society depends on our collective ability to express these virtues among ourselves. But we can find it very difficult and sometimes seemingly selfish to apply them towards our own lives. 

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I have learned that if I am unable or unwilling to apply those virtues to my own life. Then I am not sincere when giving them to other people. Because in order to know what real forgiveness, empathy and compassion feels like. 

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I must experience giving it to myself. When that was lacking in my own life it felt disingenuous when giving it to other people. There is an old folklore statement that says, "you cannot give to others what you do not already have for yourself." What I like about that is it can be applied to self-compassion, self-empathy and self- forgiveness. And in my view, it was probably always meant to be. In the past when those were missing from my life, they were a scarcity from me towards the lives of others.

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I understand now that I had found it to be overwhelming to find the courage to be forgiving, and to have empathy and compassion for past mistakes made by my younger self. And even many others made during my midlife. But I now know that those three virtues of self-compassion, self-forgiveness and self-empathy were some of the truest forms of therapy and healing for me.

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And eventually I found peace and happiness. And I am still living it today, many years later. And you deserve it in your own life. Those three virtues are not just for imparting to others. I personally believe they were always meant for giving to ourselves first. You need to give them to yourself; I know that because you are still reading this. You were drawn to it. What are you waiting for??