FINDING HAPPINESS BEGINS
BY MAMA RABIN
Life experience with finding happiness begins when you become honest with yourself. At least, that's how it happened with me when I realized that I was defining myself by the perception of other people. I saw myself only through the eyes of others.
At that time, I honestly had no real idea of who I was. I had many roles in my life, as a mother, a wife and a daughter. I thought that as long as I was fulfilling those roles successfully that I was being who I was meant to be. But none of those roles had anything to do with me as an individual or sovereign person. Meaning that my life was mine and only mine to live, to share, and to rule. And that if I would ever find happiness It would be because only I would ever sit on that throne of authority in my life, metaphorically speaking.
There was a time when I was struggling to find my real self and I allowed other people's perceptions of me to define me. And we all experience that even if we don't realize it or admit it. But you have to really know yourself before you can even begin to show the real you to other people. I invite you to begin with self-examination and asking, "who am I" and "who am I not"?
I'm not suggesting this question as a reason for you to criticize yourself and destroy your own self esteem. But for you to define and fine tune who you are so that you have a more honest awareness of yourself.
And begin to introduce yourself to the real you. And I'll say again you have to know yourself before you can even begin to introduce or show the real you to others. Instead of allowing other's perception of you to become your identity.
For example, a practical way to begin is by asking yourself about your social preferences. Am I an extrovert or introvert? In other words, do I thrive and come to life in social setting of a few very trusted family members or friends? Or am I someone who needs the social setting of many family, friends or people who might possibly become friends someday. Believe it or not, that basic question could bring more awareness to your life than you can imagine. Asking yourself that question is actually a game changer, because it is imperative for you to know that about yourself.
If there was ever a magic formula, and there is not. This one does come close. Because it is important for you to know what social setting is a good match for you. And not only that, but it is also not about it being a preference it is a necessity to know that and is important for the benefit of your own mental health and well-being.
Life is meant to be shared, be sure to share it with people who truly see who you are. And not just through their perception of you.